Maximum splendid sport zzz movie ever!

I have a friend that probably, 2-3 times a year randomly after many cocktails, would ask... "ok, what's the best sports movie?" It was this running joke, and we would constantly spew the same stupid rhetoric, judging if the choices were technically sports movies or arguably good. If we replayed all of these conversations in their entirety, the exact exchanges would probably overlap by 92%. I would usually somehow remain serious with my answers while he would borderline insist that the absolute ridiculousness of Strange Brew could theoretically be a sports movie, and possibly reign supreme. I would laugh just as hard at these comments every single time. We are idiots. If you haven't seen that 80s classic with Bob and Doug McKenzie, originally germinated from SCTV, then I would borderline say it's a necessity. Ha! Your IQ points will definitely reduce by the minute. The definitive conclusion of this repeated debate is that I don't ever think we gave our #1 definitive answers. Hilarious, but I believe this is true. It's distracting when you're imbibing though. I think Socrates coined that expression.

I'll whip through honorable mentions, then briskly walk our way through the rest. In no particular order, we've got: some inspirational baseball flicks with Field of Dreams and The Natural, the golf-goofage of Caddyshack, 70s style pro-football debauchery repped by North Dallas Forty, high school coming of age-ness + wrestling with Vision Quest and what was once futuristic and violent in Rollerball. Ahh, screw it calling these honorable mentions. They were just lower on the list.

Here we show the cream rising to the top. I decided to display these in a tremendously organized bullet rippin' list I tend to apply whenever appropriate.

10) Jerry McGuire - Having been a from-the-ground-up agent myself in the music industry, I have knowledge of and an affinity for Jerry's personal and business battles in a similar sphere. Yin and yang. Choices have consequences.

9) Rudy - Although I was not a huge fan of Sean Astin's acting, it is a great representation of perseverance. Being a true story obviously provides the necessary believability, which was a key component to the appreciation.

8) Remember The Titans - Also being based on true-life high school football events gives validation to the plot of the picture. Without the solid actors at the top of this line-up, it might not have turned out quite as well.

7) All the Right Moves - This is a vivid visual depiction and description of intense PA high school football in the 80s. This may have been Pittsburgh, but I was a part of it in Phila, and it is relatable. Great cast.

6) Bull Durham - Truth is, Kevin Costner rocks the shit out of his sports character acting. Hilarious baseball film with a great plot, A+ cast and you can smell the grass on the field.... and yes, Susan Sarandon is not incredibly unsexy.

5) Tin Cup - Like I previously stated, Kevin Costner rocks the shit out of his sports character acting. Hilarious golf film with a great plot, A+ cast and you can smell the grass on the course.... and yes, Rene Russo is not incredibly unsexy. This breakdown sounds familiar.

4) Slap Shot - People either have to know or be reminded of how hysterical Paul Newman can be on the screen. As far as humor goes, this 1977 hockey depiction is his apex. Over time, most of the world learned of the Hanson Bros, but everybody in Slap Shot comedically crushed it.

3) Rocky - Ok, disclaimer, I am from Phila. Maybe that creates a mild bias, but still, there is no aspect of this 1976 classic that you can't appreciate or feel in your bones. Sure, it's extremely Phila, but it's basically the atmosphere of the inner city, the street and reality of circumstances. Boxing or no boxing, this rides the wave of emptiness to glory? What if there was no Rocky II? Regardless, you always sense the reality.

2) Hoosiers - Basketball is my thing, and nobody will judge anything basketball with a firmer hand than this guy. That's me. I support Hoosiers from beginning to end... the basics of how you teach basketball, coach basketball and play basketball. How you handle adversity and how you win, both on and off the court/field. Having been shot in 1986, Hoosiers certainly transports you perfectly into 1950s rural Indiana with its cinematography and attention to detail in every way imaginable. Impeccable cast, where I can't see anybody else in their roles better than Gene Hackman and Dennis Hopper.

1) Bad News Bears- This sucker was funny in the 70s, 80s, 90s, 00s, 10s and 20s all the way to this morning. This sucker is funny if you are in your 70s, 80, 90s, 00s, 10s and 20s... and keep going until you get back to the 70s number again. It's the absolute perfect volume of political incorrectness in 1976. That amount = extreme and awesome. It's the most adult for kids for adults baseball picture... strike that... ANY SPORTS picture ever produced. Nothing is off limits in this ensemble, no matter what the age or what the character. They certainly don't make badassery like this anymore, which is criminal. If Walter Matthau did nothing else in his career other than Bad News Bears, he would still be a legend in my book. (Note: Walter Matthau was nominated for an Academy Award-Best Actor for Bad News Bears). Also, 1976 Academy Awards, Best Supporting Actor goes to... Tanner Boyle. I mean the 10-year-old actor who played Tanner Boyle. Unfortunately, he was never nominated, so I lied.

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Walter Schreifels and Mike Vennart- You may be as good if you try real real hard, but you are in no way better than them 

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Goo Goo Dolls. Let's commit and re-charge with those old bangers! Shall we?